The Alien Other
by Diane Ludeking
Jack Kerouac Road in Frisco. copyright Diane Ludeking 2010
I have been pondering the heart for many moons now. Inspired by today’s holiday and my current read, “Healing the Heart of Democracy by Parker J. Palmer, the ways of the heart, my own and others, have raised much interest in me. The concept of the alien other is what I want to speak to today.
The most obvious aliens are the ones from outer space, but I am curious about the most ignored ones. I am most intrigued by the people on my planet that are different from me. And not the obvious aliens that sneak into our country, but my neighbors, the homeless guy I once passed daily when I lived in Minneapolis and that radical religious zealot.
These aliens have created a variety of heartbreak in my life. I yearn to know my neighbors but let excuses keep them separate from me. My heart bled extra hard every time I drove right on past that homeless guy. And someone I perceive as a religious zealot has been ostracized from my life because they are different from me (even my choice of words here and how I use them solidifies alienation – zealot).
What if I could get beyond my fear of these people and their differences? What if I had a conversation with the alien other to inspire compassion for our differences? I may not agree with them, but is my heart not capable of being broken open to our differences instead of shattered by unfounded fears?
How can you make everyday a heart-expanding day?
I had lunch with a man whom I’ve known for about 3 months last week. Very nice, very handsome, very accomplished guy. At one point I shared what I’d learned about myself in a psychological workshop years before: I have a prejudice (prejudged) about fundamentalist, evangelical Christians. Growing up in the buckle of the Bible Belt and seeing what I think is a gross distortion of Christianity, helped make it thus. He looked at me and said, “I’m one of those.” I’ll continue on my blog. . . Thanks Diane of reminding us of the Other, which we all are depending on the circumstances.
Wonderful story, Robert. I look forward to reading more about it. And great point about BEING the other – I hadn’t even flipped the coin to think about that. That inspires many more thoughts!
There are alien others within as well as without… alienated parts of ourselves that we label as outside our ability to be with. Perhaps there’s a parallel journey called for. We must practice availability and vulnerability to the presence and words and being of the internal and external “aliens”. Our compassion must be wide. Doing it within may stretch us for the without. Doing it around may stretch us for the within. Most of us need assistance as we do these stretches, which frequently make us feel a bit off balance as we learn. Thanks for the image!
Excellent points, Joanne. Thank you for taking the alien other a necessary step further.
May I please have your permission to use the lovely quote image at the top of this blog post in a blog post of my own, with links and credits to you and to your blog of course? I would really appreciate it very much. I am really grateful for your consideration. Thank you so much,
Scriptor Obscura
Yes. You have my permission to use that image. Thanks so much for checking. Blessings, Diane