Who do You Meet in Meditation?

by Soul Places | Diane Ludeking

The tool of meditation has been a great bonus in my life recently.  It began with an all day meditation retreat at Thundering Clouds, LLC a few months ago and quickly became my new favorite thing.  I had no preconceived notions about it so I was able to give myself fully to the experience.  Guided through several different meditations throughout the day, I found myself sinking further and further into – myself?

By the end of the day, I became quite familiar with what many people call their ego – or as a friend of mine recently called the voices in her head – the Committee.  No matter the label, the voice that talks incessantly about what others think of me, what I should be making for dinner and that ponders situations and people, was revealed as multitalented.

I sat like a mountain, breathed like the wind and tried to make my mind open like the sky.  I focused on my breath, even counted it, as an effort to quiet the voice, the background noise.  I soon realized with amazement that my monkey mind continued going despite all my efforts to sooth it away.  It was as though my thinking mind had been installed with a permanent wind up gear that the monkeys gladly kept wound tight.

My thoughts would momentarily retreat, like the waters during the splitting of the Red Sea, but then they would quickly come flooding back, distracting me, drowning me.  Before the thoughts came flooding back however, was an incredibly clear moment.  I could see the land on the other side, the prize, the antidote, for a more peaceful life.  In each of those fleeting moments, I became more and more convinced that there was a great boon in this age-old practice.

I met a kinder, gentler me on that day of meditation and I continue to learn patience as I bring my attention to the talking mind and then refocus on my breathing and sitting.  I have begun to use this skill throughout my day as I realize I am getting worked up about something.  I have even met my shadow in meditation and embraced her fully.  I meet all of me during meditation and am thankful for what I’ve learned from her.