People Editing People

by Soul Places | Diane Ludeking










I am reading Bitter is the New Black by Jen Lancaster right now.  It came highly recommended by a dear friend of mine so I could not resist.  It is an easy read – from beginning to end in less than a week.  It’s a laugh out loud memoir with crazy, fashionable antics[1].  A far cry from the Pulitzer Prize winning novels I had been reading.  I acquired this copy through my interlibrary[2] loan program so it is tattered, filthy and inked on.  Yes, someone took it upon himself or herself to edit this book.  All well and good[3] but it got me wondering about people editing people.  In everyday life.

I’m guilty of it:  I think my husband is making a horrendous mistake so I tell him.  It’s nothing life threatening and he did not ask for my opinion[4].  But there it is.  The unintended message I just sent him is that I don’t trust him enough to do what’s best for him.  I just went past half way in my relationship with him, a typical, codependent thing to do[5].  And how can I expect him to meet me half way when I’m always going beyond it?  I just made it nearly impossible for him to show up at the half way mark[6].

It has taken a tremendous amount of trust in myself (and my spouse) to experiment with finding the half way mark in our relationship and hanging out there.  And to my pleasure, he now shows up there.[7]  I have made the room and expressed the unconditional love[8] that is my true self and I now reap the rewards of a much happier and joy filled relationship.

*Footnotes and egomaniacal comments inspired by Jen Lancaster.  For more information on meeting people half way read the Zero Point Agreement article.  Now I’m off to purge myself of this book and find a Pulitzer Prize winner!

[1] Things I would never DREAM of doing or wearing!

[2] Fitchburg, WI now has a brand new, fabulous library!

[3] Although he or she missed some – cause now I’m looking too!

[4] But I offer it cause I’m always right!

[5] And not as benign as you’d think!

[6] And gave myself free license to whine about his absence there!

[7] Thank god, I hate whining!

[8] Aka: trust